One to Another
by Musing Soul
Summary: A late night chat between the newly rescued M4A1 and the Commander.


Late at night was the best time to fill out paperwork, in the Commander's opinion. While the base could never be called quiet, not with the avid search for the other member's of the AR team still ongoing, midnight proved quieter than most times of day, and it gave time to think.

They'd only 'retrieved' although he used the word loosely, M4A1 a few days prior, her provisionally joining his ranks while they found the rest of her squad, and the arrangement already gave him a headache. Persica wanted this, that, and the other thing, while Helian and Griffon demanded the search for the others continue at the previous pace, despite serious logistical issues, and a need for everyone on base to take a breath. Even Kalina, with her usual pep and excitement, needed a break. Paid or not, the grind of constant running and focus began to show.

"If nothing else, it's time to fall back and regroup. We're getting to spread out." Pushing the piles of paperwork aside, the man leaned back with a long groan. Almost caught up, so he could allow himself a small break.

After a few moments of quiet, someone knocked on the door frame, before M4's face appeared. He rarely closed the door, preferring to be easy to access if problems arose. "Commander?" She seemed surprised. "I…didn't expect you to be awake."

A chuckle. "Best time to do paperwork. And I could say the same to you." A variety of expressions flashed over her face, and he motioned to a free chair. "Feel free to sit, although I'm not sure I'm good company at the moment."

"I don't want…" She trailed off.

"It's fine." He waved the concern away. "I'd rather you be a bother than not, as this paperwork is going to drive me insane otherwise." That drew a small, shy smile from her. "To be honest, we aren't usually this much of a mess, but they have me running ragged looking for the others, so the base is a bit of a shambles at the moment."

"I don't think so, Commander." M4 shook her head, and he laughed, unable to help it.

"Oh, I assure you it is. We're taking tomorrow off to get things back in order…mostly." He paused. "To be honest though, we're running a bit short on leads for the rest, unless I'm willing to give the order to throw thousands of dollars of ordinance at the Sangs just to see what happens." M4 frowned, and the Commander found himself wondering how she'd respond. All the files claimed she was the leader, and he did wonder what it really meant.

"I don't think that would help you find them…" M4's eyes drifted past his shoulder. "STAR wouldn't trust it to be safe, and SOPMOD will listen to her." He'd suspected as much. "I think…" She trailed off.

"You think?" He prompted.

"She'll want to lay low, stay hidden. Until she knows I'm safe."

Mind racing, he leaned back. "So, they need to know you are safe." That would complicate things, but he could work with it. A few plans started to form. "Then what?" SF wouldn't go away, that's for sure. Hell, it might even get worse.

"They should come find us." A pause. "They might have split up, and be alone, but if they know I'm here, and safe, they'll come back. That's what we agreed." And she trusted them to keep that agreement. That told him a fair bit.

"Be nice if we could get in contact with them ahead of time, would give a way to set up a trap for the Sangs." No, that wouldn't work, he decided a moment later. "Eh, maybe not. Too many risks."

M4 frowned, head turning to the side. "Too many risks?" She repeated, questioning. Layers of questions, although he knew she didn't intend them.

"While I know full well that all of you can take far more punishment than me, it feels wrong to gamble on that fact. And it's your squadmates lives I'm playing with, and I don't fancy getting killed when they get hurt." When her gaze dropped again, he knew something more was going on. "If I can help it, not going to lose another soldier under my command." M4 blinked, and he knew he'd got it. "How long have you been together?"

"…the AR team?" He nodded. "A little while. Why?"

"Just trying to get a feel." He stood, groaning. "Eh, screw paperwork for the night." M4 stood, frowning at him. "Helian can wait, and I think you and I can both do with some fresh air."

Sitting on the roof, the Commander sighed, watching the stars above. "I never really intended to come back to being a commander, after the war." His finger drummed on the roof, as he considered. "I saw enough friends die, faced enough families and friends in the aftermath of my decisions, both good and bad, to never want to come back."

"Why did you?" M4 sat beside him. "If you didn't want to, why come back?"

"Because, for better or worse, I've got that combat experience, and the knowledge to prevent something like that happening again….and, well, if I can prevent another person from ending up in my shoes, then I think it's worth doing. Not very honorable of me to be honest, as it's more selfish than selfless, but, well, is who I am." He laughed, hollow and tired. "Guilt is a powerful motivator, M4, and that is something I have in spades. If I can save all of you some of the misery I feel than I consider it a worthwhile trade."

"Oh." The AR team leader went quiet, head dropping to her knees beside him. "I don't think you're a bad person." He flickered her a look. "I haven't been here very long, but you care about everyone and try and make sure they are okay." He didn't feel the need to reply to that, as arguing feelings never went anywhere.

"I'd rather be more like you." To some degree, it helps to think of M4 as a follow commander, and less as a subordinate, in moments like this, as it made admitting personal weakness easier. "Someone compassionate, caring, and well, bluntly put, not fucked over by the horror of war and killing." That, for the first time, got a serious jerk of surprise from her. "You have a purity to you, M4, that I lost almost before I knew I had it. Something I remember from some of the poor sods assigned to my squad, straight out of basic, during the war. Most of them didn't last the month, the fighting got so bad at times." Her eyes widened. "See, the thing that makes you an I very different people M4 is that you worry about others for the sake of others. You worry that you aren't good enough as a leader, you worry about the wellbeing of others out of genuine concern for them, hell you just have normal, sensible person worries."

She flushed, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the reaction. "I couldn't even protect them." And then, he knew, they came to the heart of the matter. "And I didn't want to split up. I wanted all of us to stay together."

"Welcome to the burden of command." His eyes drifted towards the stars. "We eternally second guess ourselves. Just don't let it consume you, and you'll be fine."

For a long while, she didn't say anything. "I trust them." A quiet admission. "The others, I mean. But they're up against so much and…"

"We'll find them." He sounded more certain than he felt. "SF is smarter than I give them credit for, but nothing we can't handle." Pausing, he took a leap. "Tell me about them." She offered him a strange look. "I'm curious. Don't really know much about any of you, and sometimes, weird bits of knowledge are useful. Other times, you find out you've got a squadmate with a drinking problem."

"Well, M16 drinks, but I'm not sure she has a problem." A pause. "She's always doing her best to look out for us, and make sure we're alright. She's the oldest, so she knows all sorts of things that I don't, but…" But, M4 was in charge, went unspoken. "She keeps secrets sometimes, like what happened to her eye, and whatever that thing she carries around all the time is."

"Thing she carries around?"

A nod. "On her back. A big box, that she never explained to any of us. We just know she had it." A shrug. "SOP thinks she's carrying around spare parts or something, but I'm pretty sure that's just SOPMOD projecting."

"Why would SOPMOD carry around spare bits?" While nothing said a Doll couldn't, he didn't figure there would be a reason for them too.

"SOP is a bit like a puppy, I guess. She's energetic and collects parts off Sangvius we've killed. Fingers, eyeballs, things like that. She's even replaced one of her arms with a Sangvius arm, and some other parts too."

"Well, that's an interesting choice. Guess whatever works for her?"

M4 laughed, quietly. "I think so. She's always excitable, but in a fight, she's completely different. She fights like a berserker. Anything that gets in her way, she's going to kill, and tear apart, or otherwise remove…and if you hurt one of us, I think she'd kill you regardless of what anyone said, or did."

"Sounds like my kind of soldier." She really did, all things considered. He appreciated loyalty and viciousness more than most, and hearing that M4 had someone like that on her squad helped. "Not that it was always a popular opinion to have." He could feel the strange look from her. "Why do you think the military preferred Sangvius Ferri Dolls during the war? Cold, impersonal, don't have feelings, don't get traumatized by fighting, or any of that. I prefer to have people who are actually human, with feelings, thoughts, and desires."

High above, for a moment, a few of the stars vanished into a cloud. "STAR wouldn't agree with you…"

"Eh, most people don't agree with me, so that's not new. The fact I don't tree you guys any different than a person ruffles plenty of feathers. Never stopped me before." The Commander paused for a moment. "She feels, what? That you guys are just supposed to be killing machines?"

"I think so." Quieter, softer, such that he almost didn't hear it. "We've never talked about it, but she'll say things sometimes…" He didn't have anything to say to that. "She's always cold, and acts like she doesn't care, but I think, deep down, she cares. She's just…" A rustle that signaled a half shrug. "I think I'm most worried for her."

"That she'll think you abandoned them?"

Wind howled. "Yes." And in the echoing silence left behind that hung between them. "She suggested we split up, but…."

"She'll understand." He returned his focus to M4, hoping at least a little of the inner confidence made it to his voice. "If she suggested you split up, she obviously had faith in your abilities, so she'll trust you to find them."

"I hope so…" More clouds rolled across the stars, and he could feel the storm coming.

"Come on." Standing, the Commander sighed. "I probably should finish my paperwork, and it's going to rain, and I don't figure either of us want to sit out in the rain." She accepted the outstretched hand, letting him pull her up. "In my experience, things work out, just sometimes not quite how we expect. Have faith in yourself, and your sisters, M4, and you'll be fine."

Her smile, the first genuine one that night, brightened the rooftop. "I…I will try Commander.

"All I can ask for."

* * *

**AN: I blame Polareon over on Reddit for this, although not very sure what to call it. Also not sure if I'd call it very good, but spat it out and now it's here, so any feedback is always appreciated. This hadn't been edited, so it's probably a bit of a mess, but yeah…**


End file.
